Like men who dreamed...

In the mid 90’s, roughly around 1994-95 I began to spend most of my evening prayer times focusing on the words of the song ‘Let Your Glory Fall’ by David Ruis. I was part of the college and career group at McKernan Baptist Church, where Eric was the intern pastor and I was working closely with him. Myself and several friends had been praying for a number of years for God to move in our midst and between ‘94-‘96 we were seeing a small portion of what we had prayed for.

Let your glory fall in this room
Let it go from here to the the nations
Let your fragrance rest in this place
As we gather to seek you face.

Father of creation
The world has yet to see
The full release of your power
The church in victory

Let your Kingdom come
Let you will be done
Let us see on earth
The glory of your Son

Today I was listening to a cd where David Ruis did a remix of that song. As I paused what I was doing my mind returned to those early days and I remembered so many of those times in my room praying those words and ideas. I think of Psalm 126:1 where it says “we were like men who dreamed”.

Those dreams are still alive in me. As I listened to that song, my heart was stirred again and my eyes teared up. Those words continue to capture the essence of what I have longed for and prayed for over 15 years.

Really, since 1991, I have spent most of my time and energy trying to pursue the reality of that song, and trying to convince everybody around me to do the same.

In the last while it’s become easier for those dreams to drift a bit in my heart. The pressures and stresses of life are powerful distractions for all of us. Somehow today I recognized the Lord calling me back again toward the singular focus that is represented in David Ruis’ song.

Dashin' for Compassion

Yesterday I ran my second ever half marathon, at the 'Dashin' for Compassion' foot race. When I made plans to run the race, I had no idea that it fell on the Mother's Day weekend; it's only fitting that it would, given that it is set up to raise money for the Sorrentino's Compassion House, which exists to provide sanctuary and support for women with breast cancer, who live outside of the Edmonton area.

In June of 2001 my mother died of breast cancer, so I have obviously have special empathy for families who are suffering through the trials of the disease.

But back to the race: it was a beautiful day for a run; there were only about 160 people who ran the half marathon (which is 21 km for anyone who doesn't know) and the course was amazing with a lot of fabulouse houses in the Grandview, Lansdown and Riverbend communities.

I'm still new to this whole running thing, so of course I made a pretty significant gaff in my week of preparations. The final 7-10 days prior to a half marathon you are supposed to taper off your training in order to allow your body to fully recover and be a full strength on race day. You are also supposed to be familiar with the layout of the course so as to be fully prepared for what lies ahead. In my zeal I decided that I would ride my bike along the course on Thursday, 2 days before race day. (Yes, it's the bike that got stolen...see my previous post). Given that I had not riden a bike in nearly 10 months, this was NOT a good idea! Add to that the fact that I failed to eat prior to the bike ride, which caused me to seriously bonk, and you've got real problems.

Problems? Nahh... I convinced myself that I'd recover on Friday and be ready to go on Saturday. After all, how trashed could my legs be?

Well, I got about 9 km into the race, doing a fairly decent pace (for me) and then came the hills. Snow Valley to be exact. It was at that point that I dropped a gear. I just simply couldn't keep the pace up. No strength in my legs. Up to this point I had been running back and forth with a young woman in the race: she would move ahead of me and then I wold pull ahead of her and vice versa. (She was doing 10 & 1's, and I wasn't) This continued up until Snow Valley and at that point she left me in the dust. I spent the remainder of the race trying to recover that gear that I'd lost, but frankly it just never happened.

The struggle was that I was in better condition than I was for my first half marathon and knew that I had the potential to keep up the pace I had started out at. Frustrating! In the end, I finished the race slightly faster than my previous half marathon time, so I can't complain too much; I just learned the hard way how important the tapering process really is!

So the next big race will be the Kananaskis 100 miler, which is a 10 person relay team race, obviously in Kananaskis! It's in June on the Father's Day weekend, (which is also the weekend of the PGA's US Open...booo :(
Regardless, I'm looking forward to it. After that I'll be working towards the ING half marathon which is in August. That's my plan, at least for now.

Running appeals to me on many levels and I continue to enjoy the similarities between running and our spiritual journey with Jesus. More on that another time.... :)

Bike

"I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like"
"Bicycle Race" by Queen

This morning I was taking the kids to school and as we got into the car I noticed that the gate on our fence that accesses the alley was open. I asked the kids if they had left it open, assuming that they had, but they insisted that they had not. When I returned to the house I went over to close the gate and investigate. What I discovered shocked me:

My bike had been stolen!

Yesterday I took my bike out for the first time this year. I had eaten very little prior to going, but didn't think much of it; that mistake, coupled with my overly ambitious distance resulted in my being extremely tired when I got home. In my weiry state I put the bike by the back door of the garage and went inside for a large bowl of cherry yogurt! Soon other activities crowded my brain and I forgot to put the bike in the garage.

So perhaps my stupidity is to blame. However, I still remain shocked that somebody in my neighborhood would open up my gate and walk across the yard to steal my bike! I guess I shouldn't be; after all, cars and bikes get stolen everyday in this city. But somehow it feels different when it happens to you.

I most certainly should have kept my bike more secured; it's a pretty old bike and not worth a ton of money... but it's MY FLIPPIN' BIKE!!!!

So bar the windows, lock the doors, put all your valuables in the car trunk, cause it's not safe out there!!!
(how's that for a depressing thought!) :)

It's not the end of the world, but I'm left, at least for the near future, feeling rather paranoid and somewhat unsafe in my neighborhood, wondering who's watching and lurking around in the shadows.

Part of me wishes I could get a really nice bike to use as bait, then wait to catch the guy and then beat the CRAP out of him.

Oh wait.... I forgot... I'm built like a stick and couldn't beat up scarecrow if I tried...

O well!
LOL :)

Are people insane?

Last Saturday night I went to a movie with my friend Al Seeman. We were one of the very few who were not seeing Spiderman 3. I actually am quite excited about seeing Spidy, but for some reason I just wasn't up to joining the mayhem. Al and I went to see Hot Fuzz, which while initially sounding like a cheap adult video, was indeed quite funny.
At any rate, the showing we saw was at 10:45, which normally would be too late for me to be going to a movie, but hey, you have to live a little, right? As you would expect, the majority of everybody on the planet was trying to see Spiderman 3, and the theatre pretty much had showings of the show every half hour.
Hot Fuzz finished at around 1 a.m. and as Al and I were talking outside of the theatre, suddenly one of the showing of Spiderman got out (hopefully the last one!). What floored me was the number of people who had kids with them, younger than MY kids (which are 4 and 7). I would NEVER let my kids see ANY of the Spiderman movies! It's just not age appropriate. Yet as we stood there, I must have seen nearly 2 dozen young children, from the ages of 7 down to about 2-3 years old!
I admit, I kind of freaked out at the theatre and ranted for a while to Al.
Have people lost their minds? Are they INSANE?

Now I know that we live in a super relaxed society, where we have very few standards of appropriateness, because everybody is supposed to be able to determine what is appropriate for themselves and their own children. But let's get real! Spiderman is simply NOT a children's movie! And it's wrong to take a young child to see it. Just plain wrong. But not only is it wrong to take a 4-5 year old to Spiderman 3 at ANY time of day, it is especially wrong to do it at 11:30 P.M.!!

I need to get this off my chest: These people are STUPID! You don't take a 4 year old to a movie at 11:30 at night.
One reason was immediately evident, as I watched all of these zombie like kids stumble out of the theatre, or being carried out, asleep on the shoulders of their parents.

Some may label me as a uptight, anal retentive, no fun parent. GO FOR IT!!

Parenting is serious business. We're talking about little lives that are in our hands and that we shape and mold.
I've always appreciated the old statement that we live in a society where you need a liscense to drive, but you can be a parent without any training at all!

I suppose what's worse to me is that a lot of the younger kids I saw, most likely didn't ask to go the movie. It was their parents who wanted to go to the movie, so they just took their kids with them. I can't prove that, but I'd bet money on it. Getting a baby sitter is hard and it's often expensive.

Reality check: when you're a parent, you don't get to do all the things you did before you had kids! People need to grow up and accept that. It's reality. To use a quote from Mark Driscoll, "It's a big boy's job!' ('boy' being used in the gender neutral sense :)
There are many times when I have to say no to various things I'd love to do, for the sake of my kids. Does it bum me out? Sure, but sometimes that the reality of being a parent!

So there's my rant for the day!

Psalm 13

Every once in a while, I get fixated on a particular passage of Scripture. Recently that has been Psalm 13.

1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me for ever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

I think what I've been enjoying about this Psalm is that it's a lament, and basically in our modern culture we don't have any place for a lament. We pretty much live in a 'suck it up princess' culture, and frankly sometimes in the church, that culture is often reinforced. There is not much place for any real lament. Maybe for an hour or a day, but then we expect people to get on with life. Suck it up! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! If it persists, then you must need meds!

Now some will point out that at the end of the Psalm, David does seem to 'suck it up' and ends on a positive note.

My interpretation is that I don't believe that the emotions of v. 1-4 are suddenly gone for David, but that v. 5-6 reflect the truth that David knows in his mind, while at the same time, struggling with a different set of emotions (v. 1-4). The two exist at the same time.

Perhaps that comes out of my own experience. Many times I have emotions that are at odds with truth that I know in my mind. (both related and unrelated to God)

My main point right now is that I believe that we need to re-embrace the 'lament' as a legitimate form of expression. Most of the time that takes a verbal form, but sometimes we can write out our emotions and experiences in the written form of a lament.

As I identify with Psalm 13, I remember that King David wrote it, and I know that I'm in good company!

thoughts from Abbotsford

Recently Eric and I were in the Vancouver area for a conference. Since we were flying in and out of Abbotsford, we stopped in to visit with our good friend Brad Jersak. Brad is the pastor of FreshWind, a church that is unlike any I've ever been to. It was a real treat to attend FreshWind and visit with Brad.
One of aspects of FreshWind that will stand out to most visitors is the number of handicapped people in the community. What impacted me was the extent to which these residents were part of the community, just like anyone else.


On a personal level, this is significant to me because Pam's brother is severely autistic. He has to live in a special home, with round the clock home care. He cannot talk and is a strong, fully grown man, who has the mental development of a 2 year old. He's a good mannered guy, but he can be quite vocal and physically decisive when he wants something. Ever since I met Ian, I have found it a real challenge to interact with him. I simply don't really know how and often feel quite uncomfortable. While I have become more comfortable over the years, I still have a long way to go. I simply cannot imagine being one of the workers in Ian's group home and I have a deep and profound respect for them.

Being in FreshWind stirred up a lot of these feelings again. The lack of "uncomfortableness" among the regular attenders of FreshWind hit me like a brick. Of all the things that make their wonderful church unique, the love, respect and inclusion of the residents was what hit me most. I just don't know if I could do it. I guess the truth is that maybe I like 'my' church a little too sanitized; maybe 'my' church is still too much about 'me' and how 'I' like it.

These days we're talking about being a 'prophetic community' at The Canopy. I found FreshWind to be one of the most prophetic communities I've ever been to. Here's why: if 'the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of prophecy', then a prophetic community needs to declare and display the character and person of Christ. Too often I've been more interested in the 'declare' than the 'display' part of the prophetic. The inclusion of the residents into their church community shouted prophetic truth at levels several decibels higher than any other verbal prophetic words; at least to my ears.

Just some initial thoughts. More to come

Some Humor

I came across this today and thought it was pretty funny.
I just got back from the 'Refocus' conference, so I'm full of much more serious thoughts which I'll be working on soon.

Pam and I are scheduled to go to the opera this Thursday night, which has the potential for another post! :) Keep watching!

For now I'll start with this....

Nothing Amazing

I've run into a new problem with my blog: I've wanted to write a post, but I simply can't seem to think of anything to post about! I tend to resist 'diary' style posts, although to be honest, I rather like reading such posts from other people. What do I do when I don't have any 'deep' or 'humor' oriented thoughts? There certainly has been no shortage of things happening in life, but not too many that seem appropriate for the blog.

Here are a few odds and ends lately:

1) I did run a half marathon, but that was while back now. It was cold: about -15 with a brisk wind. I really enjoyed myself, and was pleased with my results. My time wasn't too exciting, but I have to cut myself some slack; I'm just a beginner!

2) The more I reflect on the movie "Amazing Grace", the more impacting I find it. I may have to go and see it again. I would strongly recommend it. Maybe not the most brilliant movie, but the story and life of William Wilberforce continues to stir me and inspire me. Go see it!

3) I'm pretty confident that God is calling me to read more. I've been convinced for years that I need to read more, but to be honest, I find it quite challenging to motivate myself to read consistently. Being married to Pam, I am regularly reminded of this. Pam basically has a book permenantly attached to her at all times! However, this has been an unusual season where I sense God prompting me, because there are some things I REALLY need to be reading right now. Plus, I've actually been making some progress in this too!

4) Eric and I are getting excited about an upcoming conference that we're going to in Burnaby, B.C. It's a theology conference, which I think would bore many, but we're pretty pumped. John Piper is the main speaker, and it's worth going just to hear him! J.I. Packer and Mark Driscoll are also speaking. In the old days, conferences were a major place for Eric and I to get inspired and get our creative juices going, and it's been a long while since we've been able to go to a good conference. We're also going to be able to go to Brad Jersak's church on the Sunday, but get this: Brad's going to be in Edmonton that weekend!! Of all the luck! And at Beulah too.... man, they're making all the moves these days! (let the reader understand :))

So there you have it. That's quite a bit more of a 'diary' entry than I'm used to, but maybe it's part of the process of learning how to maintain a good blog. Who knows :)

More Trade Thoughts

Just to follow up on the comments from my previous post....

I wasn't necessarily arguing that Smyth should have been paid whatever he was asking for. Like I said, I don't think he's worth that kind of money. I agree with DL in that NHL players are paid way more than they should be paid, but if I was them I'd probably be fighting for as much of the green stuff as I could get. I mean, who doesn't want a raise!

My point was focused around the issue that in the new NHL, the best players can pick and choose where they want to play. I referenced David Staples article in last Sunday's Journal, which I thought really addressed this issue. Smyth WANTED to be here, and the honest reality is that not many of the best NHL players WANT to be here (remember Pronger?).

If this is part of the new NHL reality, then how exactly are the Oilers going to respond? If we want top notch talent, then how are we going to entice them to come here. We can argue all we want that they should come here 'just for the love of the game', but let's deal with reality: Edmonton isn't exactly known as a 'hot spot' to live; we might have a great reputation as a hockey town, but that doesn't go very far in today's NHL.

My opinion is that salaries in professional sports are more connected to your past than your future; players are 'rewarded' for their level of play in previous seasons, not necessarily for what they will do. Thus, I guess in my more ideal world, salaries would be highly laiden with performance bonus', so that they are getting paid for what they currently achieve, rather than what they have achieved in the past.

Smyth has has some great years. Does it make sense to pay him so much for the next 5 years when his production will almost certainly go down? No, and that's the point I hear Darren making. I would agree.

I like Smyth a lot, and I really like the fact that he WANTS to play and live here in Edmonton. The fact that he's planning on making Edmonton his 'off season' home speaks volumes about that. Do any of the other Oilers stay here in the off season? I don't know. That said, even taking that into account as well as the talk about Smyth's leadership in the locker room, the stark reality of this season is that the Oilers were basically out of the playoffs BEFORE Smyth got traded.

Obviously there are arguments on both sides. My main point is that the Oilers need to deal with the issue of how to entice and keep top talent in an NHL where players can choose to play in whatever city appeals to them most.

Trade Thoughts

It was interesting yesterday to be sitting at our regular staff meeting in Starbucks and have a complete stranger come up and tell us the news that Ryan Smyth had just been traded by the Oilers. (I'm starting to get a complex about that table!) :)

It's been interesting to experience the outcry. To me it seems like the ripples of that trade are being felt all across the city. Virtually everybody knew within hours of the trade, and the response has certainly been massive. Two sides have emerged: responses that are quite emotional (and very upset) and responses that are much more muted and unemotional. Some feel betrayed and others see it as simply a business move; regretable, but nevertheless, a business move that had to be made.

I'm somewhere inbetween. Yes, I see the business side of it. But there is a dimension of that business side that is hard to quantify: the impact on the city. For the first time in my life, I decided to join the throngs of people who are writing comments to the Journal (and the Sun). I don't know if it will get published or not, in their sports rant section, but either way, I thought I would share my thoughts here as well:

"A major piece of this trade that seems to have been missed is that Ryan Smyth WANTED to play and live in Edmonton. For years we've watched our best players leave either because we were too small a city to pay them or because they simply didn't like living here, and I think it has given our city a bit of a inferiority complex. David Staples' Journal recent article (Feb. 25) made the point that in the 'new NHL', it is critical to factor in 'player perks' in trying to keep players around; given that players like Chris Pronger simply don't want to live in Edmonton, what 'perks' can the Oilers offer to entice players to come here and actually stay? That's what makes the Smyth deal so painful: He liked Edmonton, which, in this 'new NHL' is apparently a major issue! I agree, Smyth wanted too much money, but how do you put a dollar sign on the leadership and enthusiasm that Smyth brought to the locker room about playing in Edmonton? How can a trade ever replace that? Perhaps we should have given Smyth the money he asked for, simply because we desperately need a visible and vocal player who says 'Hey, Edmonton is a great city to live in and play in.' The image of a city is important, both around the NHL and also within the city itself. The Smyth trade is a significant blow to that image on both fronts."

So there you have it. Some of my initial thoughts. I have many others on this topic as well, but I want to work them out a bit more in my head first.

Too Fruity for me!

When I saw this I simply had to post about it. Pomegranate anointing oil!!! Only $19.95? Please, give me a break. I've actually got a pretty high tolerance for weirdness, but this just pushes my buttons. Talk about a gimmick with no Scriptural basis at all.
Here's the write up on the product:

"This is the most incredible anointing oil! The pomegranate represents healing, prosperity and overcoming. The pomegranate was early cultivated in Egypt and was highly esteemed by the Israelites. Carved figures of the pomegranate adorned the tops of the pillars in Solomon’s temple. Pomegranate fruits in blue, purple and scarlet, ornamented the hem of the robe of the High Priest, representing fruitfulness, blessings, favor of God. Pomegranates are one of the seven species the spies brought back with them to show how fertile the promised land was. It speaks of God's favor exhibited, in making fruitful."

The implication that Pomegranate anointing oil is somehow more effective or more 'anointed' than any other kind of oil is simply insane! The power doesn't come from the oil, it comes from GOD!

This kind of product just gets to me, because it feeds into crazy church culture and somehow people (literally) buy into it!
Oh well, at least the people anointed might smell a bit better, and at least people get an actual product!

Maybe I should look at the other side: you can spend at least that much on plain jane oil at any Body Shop near you!

Who knows, maybe they can make it smell fruity for you as well!

In the mean time, remember Paul Cain's admonition: "Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out."

Why is there a boy?

This past Saturday night, Pam and I went to the ballet. Yes, for those who have previously read my blog, you will no doubt have a sense of deja-vu! Indeed, just when the images of 'Row C' were nicely fading from my mind, my calendar beeped at me last week to notify me that we had tickets to, of all things, the Ballet! When I checked the tickets I was surprised to find that they were for a performance called "Dancing Joni". So I was off for an evening of men in tights and yellow taxis!
To be honest, this was the best ballet I've been to (not that I'm subscriber or anything!). This was a brand new ballet performance; a collaboration between the Alberta Ballet and Joni Mitchell. It featured music and art by Joni Mitchell with dance by the Alberta Ballet company. It was very political, the songs, art and dance all speaking about major political issues of war, child slavery and environmental abuse. (I admit that it's rather funny to think of a major commentary on the environment being initiated here in Alberta; somehow I doubt very many Alberta government officials were in attendance!)
I am virtually totally ignorant of Joni Mitchell's music, and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised. The music and the photography were very powerful and the dance certainly added a significant layer to the presentation.

Now before you start thinking I've been converted to the ballet, let me bring you to the humorous 'high point' of the evening:
Pam and I were seated in the 1st balcony (no 'row c' this time!) and next to us was a woman and her young daughter. The little girl was dressed up like a princess and was very beautiful. She couldn't have been more than 3 and a half. I was very impressed by her behavior; she watched and listened very well through the 2 hour production.
The evening opened with George Balanchine's Serenade. This piece was virtually exclusively danced by young women, much to the delight of the young princess seated to our left. Mid-way through Serenade, a male dancer came onto the scene, to which she whispered loudly to her mother: "Why is there a boy?"
Pam and I nearly burst into laughter! What a great comment, and at least from my perspective hits the nail on the head. Why IS there a boy in the ballet! For myself and many other men, this must be the central question regarding the ballet. As I have said before, men in tights simply are NOT a good idea. EVER! I don't care how ripped and toned they are: the world simply doesn't need to see that!

Anyway, all attempts at humor aside, this was a really good event. Oh, and by the way, here's a note of advice: if you're planning to go to a cultural event and the Jubilee and are thinking of going out for dinner before the performance, do yourself a favor: DON'T even try to go to Earls on campus. We've tried the last two times and the line up has been out the door. This Saturday, we ended up going to Chianti's on Whyte; a good standby, as long as you don't mind slightly overcooked pasta, and the chocolate mousse dessert is fantastic!

Interestingly enough, as I was reading a bit on "Dancing Joni", apparently, the performance got reviewed by the press all over North America and even from London, England! I don't think they were disappointed, and I think it's great that it started here in Alberta!

Adventures in Listening

Last night I had a great time with my kids, putting them to bed and doing some listening prayer with them. I admit that it's something that I've not been terribly good at doing with them, but have been stirred recently to try and teach them about listening to Jesus. It's so much easier (at least in theory!) when they are young.
So Josiah was listening, but also being himself and goofing around a bit; I tried to be patient; after all, he's only 4!
At first, Josiah saw some snow falling and then described that he was at the north pole. I admit, my faith was stretched! He then saw lots of penguins, which stretched my faith more, as there are no penguins at the north pole. (only the south!) I hid my own doubts and soldiered on. "Let's ask Jesus where he is" I suggested. Without being led, Josiah did just that. Jesus was beside him and wearing a yellow outfit. "Why don't you ask Jesus why he's wearing yellow?" Quick response: "He says it's his favorite color!". I was pretty impressed. Maybe it's not deep theological revelation, but to a 4 yr. old, I think Jesus would want to talk about his favorite color. I think I'll wear something yellow to church on Sunday!
After a bit more with Josiah, I moved to Rebekah's room.
Rebekah's stomach wasn't feeling great, so Pam was giving her some medicine just as I came in.
Rebekah and I began to listen and I asked her what she saw.
Response: Her stomach.
At this point, my faith took a plunge. Her stomach? Please! It had to be her. Afterall, she'd just taken medicine. I clarified that she was actually seeing her stomach. Yes. Okay. I carried on. "What does it look like?" She used her finger to describe it and said there were tubes coming in and she should see the medicine coming into her stomach.
Jim: "Why don't you ask Jesus why he's showing you your stomach?"
Rebekah: "I see Jesus. He's in my stomach, near the tube where the medicine is coming in.'
(Jim's faith continues to flicker!)
Jim: "Why is Jesus in your stomach?"
Rebekah: "I think he's healing my stomach."
Jim: "REALLY?" (faith grows)
Rebekah: "There's shiny stuff coming from his hands."
Jim: (now very excited) "What does it look like?"
Rebekah: "It's like the sun."
Jim: "You mean it looks like light is coming out of his hands?"
Rebekah: "Yes"
Jim: "That's incredible. How are you feeling?"
Rebekah: "my tummy feels better."

What was blowing my mind was the fact that Jesus was showing her something that she couldn't possibly have made up! There's a verse in Habakkuk 3:4, that has been a favorite of mine for several years:

"His splendor was like the sunrise;
rays flashed from his hand,
where his power was hidden."

I've enjoyed that verse because several people have, historically, seen visions of Jesus with rays of light coming out of his hands to heal them!

I left the room amazed that Jesus had spoken to Josiah and Rebekah in a way that not only made sense to them and built up their faith, but mine as well! I'm still pumped about it! I mean, light coming out of his hands...that's awesome!
I've had my share of doubts about whether I could effectively lead my kids in listening prayer. Rebekah is very analytical and Josiah has a hard time being still. However, we've had some really great times this week and it's building my faith a whole lot!

Here's to Jesus showing up in our stomachs and to the color yellow!

Dolled Up

This weekend, my daughter had her 7-yr. birthday party. She invited several friends from grade 2 and everybody had a great time; chaos and noise ensued! My wife is a master at planning these things and organizing a variety of events, all carefully timed and planned so as to keep the kids constantly active and entertained. She's very good at it, and every year, Rebekah wants mom to do the 'pop demonstration' where Pam makes pop, using vast quantities of dry ice and causing ice cream buckets to explode all over the place. It's great fun and should Pam ever need a side-line job to being a teacher, I'm sure she could entertain multitudes with her 'pop' demo!
When it came time for the presents to be opened (Rebekah's favorite part!) all was going well, and at one point, she opened a present that was a 'my scene barbie' doll. Now, for the masses who are not up to speed on the latest in children's 'doll' fashion, allow me to bring you up to speed: Many dolls these days are marketed at a 'Toys R Us' near you, looking like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, or perhaps a very slightly more covered up version of the Pussycat Dolls or Britney Spears.
My friend Eric was at the party, with his daughter Elisha, and he and Pam had some awesome commentary! Here's Pam's version of the comments:
"Oh look it's 'Hootchie' and you call also collect her friends 'Skank' and 'Ho'." To which Eric replied "You can also get 'My Pimp Ken' and the whole collection of 'Johns'."
Now before you all write me off as a hopeless uptight conservative, let me say this: I hope that my daughter will NEVER dress like some of these dolls that are being marketed to her to play with. I think you could shoot off my toes one at a time, and I'd still say NO! Don't get me wrong: I'm not wanting Rebekah to dress like Anne of Green Gables or like the girls on Little House on the Prairie, but let's be honest: there are limits!
Recently there was a news report, that looked at the trend in young girls fashions toward 'sexualizing' girls at an earlier and earlier age. I didn't get a chance to see the whole thing, but I wonder if they looked at the fact that such images and impact are included even in the dolls that kids play with?
Years ago a friend of mine commented that when you see a picture on a magazine or tabloid cover or anywhere else, of a young woman looking overly sexualized, you need to remember, "that's somebody's daughter". That comment has always stuck in my brain, and now that I have a little girl of my own, it has even more meaning.

Tumbling Ground

"Trying to find a place
where I can hide away.

Please excuse me, I'm not doin' well today.
Trying to hide so desperately
the darkness of my soul

I feel like I'm failing
I'm being tossed about
There's a hole in my trampoline
I'm falling down

I'm in the place again
where the heart gives up it's dead

There is a place where tears fall
but make no sound
on God's rough tumbling ground"

-Kevin Prosch & The Black Peppercorns




"Please give me some hope
today
Have you ever been alone all by yourself
Even when someone else is near you
Sometimes they seem so far away
And nothing can comfort you

I know sometimes you win
but most of the time I get this feelin' that I'm losing.

And the cruel cruel lessons of loneliness...
I believe this must be my portion of life

Dear God make me a leaf today
cause deep inside there's so much pain
so maybe I could float away
while the wind is old and still at play

I know sometimes you win
but most of the time I get this feelin' that I'm losing..."

-Kevin Prosch & The Black Peppercorns

Row C

Little did I know that my earlier entry would prove so timely! Scarcely had I written about my Evanescence experience, only to discover that we had tickets to the Symphony. Hey, no problem.... I like the symphony. We have one of those multipacks that you buy at the beginning of the year and then you choose which performances you would like to attend. Kind of gives you some flexibility. What I did not know was that my wonderful wife Pam had chosen 'Balletomania', for us to attend.

However, not only were we going to 'Balletomania' but somehow Pam managed to get seats that were 3 rows from the front! What I learned that night was that the first 3 rows of the Winspear auditorium are deemed 'too close' to the stage to be considered to be prime seats, which is why they were available for the performance. Pam figured that because there would be some ballet dancers performing, it might be good to be quite close. I should have become suspicious at that point, but life was moving too quickly last week for me to give it much thought.

The evening arrived: we put on appropriate attire, left the kids in the capable care of one of our babysitters, jumped in the car and off we went. It was a rare evening and the planets must have been in alignment or something, because we arrived early! Quite early actually. After taking in some of the live piano music in the foyer of the auditorium, we made our way to our seats: Row C, seats 105 and 106 (guessing on the seats, but definitely Row C!!)

I have to admit that it was a new experience being that close to the members of the symphony. Usually we're up in the 1st balcony, but from Row C, you can see the wedding rings on their fingers! My suspicions should have been peaked again, when I noticed that only 3 people were in the row in front of us, with NOBODY being in the first row. However, I was quite content to enjoy my Row C experience. For the time being that is!

The first number was nice and warmed everybody up. I was excited that the conductor, Ormsby Wilkins, was from Australia, and he certainly didn't disappoint. Following the opening number (and throughout the night) he took a microphone and spoke to the audience, providing some very interesting bits of information about the upcoming pieces.

On to the 2nd piece: The conductor had informed us (as did the program) that this would be first of two pieces that would be accompanied by dance. The music began and suddenly from the right side of the stage, a female dancer came out, accompanied by a male dancer. Now to the trained and experienced, this probably would be totally expected. However, from my ignorant perspective, given the small area of the stage set apart for the dance portion, I was NOT expecting a male dancer as well.

You have to keep in mind that from Row C, you are actually looking UP at the stage (slightly) and thus, not only was I entirely TOO close to this strapping young man in white tights, but I was forced to look UP at him as he leapt around the stage. Men in tights are simply not my thing; maybe they do it for some people, and perhaps if I had a body like those dancers, I too would be tempted to wear tights.... okay, forget that... not in a million years!

I've been to the Ballet before and I've been fairly close to the stage before and I've seen men in tights before (much to my dismay, I might add!), and I also need to admit my ignorance when it comes to Ballet, but I must ask: WHY, O why did the man have to wear WHITE tights? Why not another color? Perhaps a darker color that might blur the lines and curves that nobody really needs to see! But not only was he wearing white tights, but WHY, O WHY did he choose to wear a blue thong?? Was it necessary? I suppose I can understand the reason, but did it have to be BLUE? Clearly no thought had been given to the poor souls in Row C who would have an upward gaze toward the valley of the blue thong!

I turned to Pam and whispered to her, "You owe me!", to which she burst into silent laughter. I admit, I laughed too!

Now, while I will say that there was WAY too much 'package' seen that night, the dancing itself was very beautiful. I'm not a huge fan, and a lot of the movements and such are beyond my appreciation. On a musical note, I learned a lot. It was kind of a 'best of' ballet night, highlighting several Ballet pieces that are extremely famous (known even by me!); yet I had no idea that the music was made for Ballet. Overall it was a fun evening, and I kept Pam laughing throughout the night with comments similar to what I'm writing here.

So if you ever get a chance to go to the Winspear, check out Row C. The view is quite something!

A Medical Rant

A lot has been written about the state of medical care here in Canada, and by and large, I have not had too many complaints, admittedly because I'm fairly healthy. However, recent events in my life have changed that!

For the past 2 months I have had a running injury, where some tendons in my shin (that wrap down into my foot, to provide stability) have been quite inflamed. For 5 weeks I dutifully went to physiotherapy, paying the $45 up front, with the understanding that I would be able to recoup the money through my benefits. When I did submit, (5 weeks and several hundred dollars later!!) I was informed (3 weeks later) that because I did not have a doctors note, they would not cover the expenses. The thing is that you don't require a doctor's note to go to a physio and the physio office told me that they would provide me with a 'determination of need' form which would satisfy my benefits provider. But NOOOOO, that wasn't good enough!!! :(

To add to it all, it's been nearly 2 months now, and while I am back to some running, the tendons have not totally healed up. (so why am I running again you ask? well, I'm in a running clinic, training for a half marathon at the beginning of March, plus I'm going slightly iNsAne from not being able to run! Just ask my wife!) So I decided that I wanted to go to a real sports injury doctor and get the solid goods on what's going on in my tendons. Simple right? NOOOOOOO.

I'd heard that getting into the Glen Sather clinic required a doctor's note, but just to make sure I went to the clinic to ask; yes, indeed, you need a reference. So off I go to the local medi-clinic by my house to get a note from doctor A in order to see doctor B! I get to the clinic and find that it's a 2 HOUR wait, which is more time than I can spare, so I climb back into my car, left wondering what my next move is.

Then I get smart: I talk to my friend, Dr. Eddie Chang and explain what's happening and ask him if he could write me doctor's note, which, Eddie graciously does. So you'd expect that this will work out, right? NOOOOOOO.

Today I went to the Glen Sather clinic, gave them the note and was promptly told that the note was good enough to get me in to see their physiotherapist, but NOT to see one of the doctors. (despite Eddie specifically saying that he recommended that I see a sports medical doc!) What do they need you might be asking. Me TOO! They require a reference LETTER. Who knew!

So, off I go to my dentist appointment today, and on my way back, still steaming over the Sather clinic episode, I stop in to the regular medical clinic, just in case they might be able to take me in, seeing how I had 45 min. before my next appointment at work. However, as I suspected, the wait was nearly 1.5 hours long. I left, got into my car, still steaming.

I knew that the medical clinic is open until 10 p.m. at night, so I thought to myself: 'okay, I'll put the kids to bed and then shoot over to the clinic'....surely I'll be able to get in at 9:30 at night, so close to closing. Right? NOOOOOOO.

My heart sank as I entered the clinic to see 7-8 people languishing in the seats of the waiting room, disease and sickness surely lingering in the air. I approached the desk to inquire (again!) and was told that the wait was still about 1.5 hours!

All I want is to see a sports injury doctor about my tendons! That's all! Is it really so much to ask? (gasp!)
Tune in again for the next chapter in the continuing saga!

A Night Out

Last night Pam and I went to the Evanescence concert. Now I need to clarify that I went because Pam really wanted to and she bought the tickets! It was quite a show, one that left me feeling quite old! I just couldn't get into it very much. I guess it's the genre of music, but I don't like the grinding guitar sounds that seem to make most heavy metal songs sound pretty much the same (at least to me!).

There were two opening bands, and the first was totally awful; I mean they were a full on garage band for sure. There was this guy behind us who was WAY to enthusiastic about is all. I said to Pam that he really should have splurged for better seats because up where we were, not too many people were as verbally into things as he was!

Then came the 2nd band, which was called Stonesour. Frankly they sounded a lot like a Metallica-type group to me. For sure a step up musically from the first band, and I found out today in the paper that the lead singer was the lead guy from Slipknot, the psycho looking group that somehow reminds me of the evil guy from the original SAW movie. I know that it's part of the performance and all, but I just was totally turned off by the profanity laced lyrics and rants he went on. Oh well, what can you do. Oh, again, perhaps this is somehow 'normal' at these things, but he kept taking a swig of water bottles and then throwing the rest of the water on the crowd. I was fairly amazing to watch him swing his head around, in the classic 'head-banger' style, but I kept wondering how he could do that without giving himself a vicious headache!!
Now that I've thoroughly demonstrated that I AM old, I'll move on to Evanescence:

Clearly I don't know much about this kind of music, but I thought the sound quality was pretty bad. Or was it just the way the music is supposed to sound? No, it can't be that, because I've heard a number of Evanescence songs on cd and they sounded considerably better on cd (some would argue that all songs sound better on cd b/c of production...maybe true).
What was interesting was that in today's Edmonton Journal, the review of the concert said that the sound was surprisingly good; while the review in the SUN said the exact opposite, that the sound was brutal. Who's right? I don't know. All I do know is that I couldn't understand a lot of what Amy Lee was saying/singing and I needed to read the quotes in the papers today to get most of what she said. (I caught bits and pieces). One thing everybody seems to agree on is that Amy Lee has an amazing voice.

At this point, you may be wondering WHY I went in the first place, given that it doesn't sound like it was a good experience. I liked Pam's perspective: she's got diverse tastes; one month we go to Evanescence and the next we go to the opera or the symphony. So why did I go? I like spending time with my wife, and going with her did make the night a lot of fun. I also go to the ballet with her, and believe me, that's quite a bit tougher for me to get into than Evanescence!!

So there's my evening. Even though it wasn't exactly my favorite musical experience, it was still a lot of fun!

Quite a response

Well this past Sunday (Jan. 7) I spoke a message at The Canopy that evoked quite a response. Usually I don't get any comments and presumably, people forget the message by the time lunch is over, but this Sunday was different. In some ways I'm not surprised. I spoke on the theme of repentance and issued a call to us at The Canopy to begin the year by coming back to the Lord in repentance.

I got written responses, some emails and even met with somebody about it. Actually most people were quite positive in their feedback, but when you preach on the message of repentance, it does go deeper than some other topics. I think it's because it is so central to the gospel. The message of forgiveness is much easier to accept than the message of repentance, but quite clearly BOTH are essential parts of the gospel.

As I spoke with one person this week about the message, I mentioned the fact that my main desire in the message was to speak to our 'heart condition', calling us (myself included for sure) as The Canopy to repent and turn to the Lord regarding the condition of our hearts. While I was corrected for my reference to Rev. 3:16 and my failure to recognize that God is not inviting us to be 'spiritually cold', my main point was again to illustrate the state of the heart. (and yes, I am aware that in context, Jesus is speaking to their works/deeds and the reference is to Laodicea's insipid water supply and the calcification on the pipes that resulted:)

At any rate, my focus right now is to return to the Lord in simplicity and humility, through prayer. I believe that this is the path that we must take in order to see God moving more freely in our midst. I believe that coming to God with this kind of heart will allow God to change us, mold us and use us in amazing ways in 2007. No matter where any of us is at in our spiritual journey, this posture can only draw us closer to God.

Like I said, most people who commented were touched in their spirits by the Lord on Sunday; I didn't get raked over the coals at all. People were quite gracious; it certainly got people thinking (positively and perhaps negatively as well) and wrestling a bit more with the issue of repentance.

Personally, I am still very impacted by Ps. 130 and the picture of hope that comes in repentance. I'd never seen that or heard that before until the Lord drew my attention to it:

"If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

O Israel, put you hope in the Lord
for with the Lord is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins."


Amen Lord! Let it be.

What am I after, really?

Today I was challenged again by the Lord about my concepts of success. I want to be successful and I don't think that is wrong in itself, but often my ideas of what that looks like are distorted and influenced more by this world than by the Kingdom of God.

I think God has been striving with me for many years over this, and how it impacts my evaluations of ministry at The Canopy. The cult of numerical success (yes, the idea of 'size matters'!) in ministry is profound and despite my best efforts to remind myself of the ministry values of Jesus, somehow I continue to be drawn back towards a desire for numbers as a standard of success.

For years when I would run into people who would talk about numbers not mattering, I would silently decide that they were being pious and providing an excuse for the fact that the numbers simply weren't there, and that ultimately they DID care about numbers.

So here's where I'm currently at: I've settled the issue that God doesn't really care all that much about numbers as a measure of success; but I often DO.
I actually think that desire is shrinking in my life, but it's still there, so I might as well own up to it.

Anyway, here's a quote from Henri Nouwen that I found quite impacting:

"There is a great difference between successfulness and
fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and
respectability. A successful person has the energy to create
something, to keep control over its development, and to make
it available in large quantities. Success brings many
rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness
and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the
fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit
born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit
that grows through touching one another's wounds. Let's
remind one another that what brings us true joy is not
successfulness but fruitfulness."