Obama

How could today go by without a blog post on the swearing in of Barak Obama as President?

I'll say up front that I'm pretty impressed by Obama and think he's going to be able to be an agent of new direction in the States.
(so any negative comments about Obama, such as accusations that's he a muslim or the antichrist, will NOT be published on this blog so don't even bother)

What has struck me about Obama winning the election is the power of hope. I think that what will be agent of change in America will not be Obama's decisions as much as the new found sense of hope and optimism that so many Americans feel. So in a sense, change already has come to America (to coin Obama's catch phrase).

It's interesting how things affect us. You can see it when the weather changes and becomes warm, or when the amount a daylight begins to increase. People respond to these things and usually become more positive about life.

I'm not saying that Obama's decisions don't matter; of course they will. What I am saying is that perhaps some of the most important impact has already been seen. Some will argue that the mood of the American people will most certainly change; George Bush's approval was great after 9/11, but has sunk to historic lows. There will indeed be some downward shifts in public opinion for Obama. No question about that.

Obama has a charm and charisma that, in my opinion, George Bush lacked. Obama has a relational manner about him that puts people at ease. Some find this alarming, but the majority of people resonate with it and respond positively, as evidenced by today's events.

For the sake of the America and indeed the entire world, I hope very much that Obama is successful in being able to bring change to the States, both domestically and abroad.

I wish him well.

Ponderings & Comparisons

This weekend was interesting.

On Saturday night Pam and I went out for dinner and then to a movie:

We drove to the theatre where we drove around for a while in search of a parking spot amidst the numerous cars. Then we went inside and found a seat (okay, I DID stand in line for popcorn!), and sat in a large room filled with a lot of people. When we took our seats we said hello to someone that Pam knew who was sitting in front of us. We enjoyed the movie and when it was over we put on our coats and walked out and back to our car and drove home.

On Sunday morning Pam and I went to church:

We drove to the church where we drove around for a while in search of a parking spot amidst the numerous cars. Then we went inside and found a seat (no popcorn available!), and sat in a large room filled with a lot of people. When we took our seats we said hello to some people that we knew who were sitting around us. We enjoyed the service and when it was over we put on our coats and walked out and back to our car and drove home.

While the point I'm making is obvious, the entire weekend experience has left me pondering many things:
(note: in no way am I being critical of the church that we went to. this commentary is more a personal one about my own state of being)

1) I wrestle with feeling that I am now a 'consumer' of a church experience. Was the church service just some kind of religious entertainment that I consumed in much the same manner as the movie?

2) Is this the way that most people experience church? It's quite a new position to be in and not one that I'm particularly enjoying.

3) How much of church services are designed to simply get people in the doors? Meaning, do we cater to this consumer mentality? I'm not so naive as to believe that this wasn't the situation at The Canopy. No, the same stuff was happening, but wow is it a wake-up call to experience it this way! Yuk!!

4) I know that we're on the fringe of this church. We're not involved or invested in it. We've got a great small group but it's from The Canopy, so it's totally separate. I'm not leading or serving in any way. So I'm on the fringe and it's a really hard place to be. I'm left feeling like some kind of spiritual leech.

5) It's hard right now to get excited about going to church. This is a totally new experience for me. I'm suddenly making mental evaluations about the service, the kids ministry, the service time, the available parking, and of all things the sermon, etc. etc. As I'm having all these thoughts in my head, suddenly the other side of my brain kicks in and says, "What the hell are you thinking? What's wrong with you?" Having spent the last 10 years of my life working in a church and strongly disliking such consumeristic mindsets, I am amazingly finding myself on the other side of the fence! (and clearly NOT liking it)

Well I think that's enough for now. I could keeping going, but these posts really shouldn't go on and on...

At this point all I have is some observations of my own experience but no real idea what exactly they mean.

More musings later!

Well...

Well a few people have emailed some thoughts about the previous post on 'you troubler of Israel'.

Strangely enough I've been distracted by other things and haven't had much time to think and pray on it. (how's that for sad!!)

Yesterday was quite a hard day for me. Beth and I spend the entire day cleaning up the remnant of stuff at The Canopy and it was the last time we would ever be in that space. It's funny that spaces are so important. People today love to say how the church isn't a building; I understand what they are saying, but the reality for me right now is that the physical space known to most people as 'The Canopy' has been very important to me. Lots of memories.... good memories... mostly.

Today I will give in my pass-card and key. There's nothing there anymore. Just memories. I can take those with me.

I don't want to sugarcoat the memory of The Canopy. The last couple of years have been hard. Really hard. And towards the end it was quite painful. That pain is over now, but a new kind of pain, a mourning has taken its place. I'll take the mourning though, as it will, in time pass.

Jesus do you really comfort those who mourn?

God, will you really turn my mourning into dancing?

Lord, will you really bring restoration to my soul?

a thought in my brain

Tonight as I was coming home from a very good conversation with a friend of mine, a phrase came into my head: "you troubler of Israel".

I was pretty sure it was from the life of Elijah the prophet and I just looked it up and sure enough, it is:

So Obadiah went to meet Ahab and told him, and Ahab went to meet Elijah. When he saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?” “I have not made trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “But you and your father’s family have. You have abandoned the LORD’s commands and have followed the Baals. Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.” So Ahab sent word throughout all Israel and assembled the prophets on Mount Carmel. Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”
1 Kings 18:16-21

The conversation with my friend was a powerful God conversation and I left with my spirit quite stirred. As I travelled home I felt there were some things God was bringing together which I won't go into here, but it was in that context that the phrase 'you troubler of Israel' came to my mind.

There is much to process in all of this...

It's time

Well it's time to get back to the world of blogging.

I took a break for the past while because I simply couldn't think of anything to blog about. Certainly there was lots to say and I was not lacking in thoughts and questions, but most of them were too private and personal for the internet! (I like blogs but I'm still a fairly private person and utterly refuse to allow this blog to be some sort of public journal for anybody to peer at... obviously there is a 'journal' dimension to any blog, but I do have my limits)

On that note, here is a bit of a 'journal style' blog update:

I am now unemployed and spend much of today applying for work.

The last 2 weeks have still been filled with many Canopy things: as with the death of a family member, so too it is with the death of a church community. There are all sorts of things to be cleaned up and details to be seen to and loose ends to be tied up. It's a process that seems to prolong the pain of death, but that's just part of life.

This Thursday will, in all likelihood, be the final day of it all for me. I will have removed all my belongings, cleaned up the last bits and turned in my key. That will be hard. There will be a finality to closing the door for the last time that I am sure will hit me.

This past weekend our small group went out of town together for good time away. It was a lot of fun, (although I'm still trying to remove the mothball smell from my clothes...LOL) On Sunday we had a 'cleaning bee' at The Canopy, which also was really good. So its felt a lot like things are still continuing, even though they are not.

It's strange getting up in the morning and not rushing off to the church or meeting with people in the day. Today I spent down in my new 'study' at home and didn't talk to anyone. I had lunch alone. I drank tea, applied for jobs and enjoyed the warmth of my space heater in my study.

I've applied for employment insurance, but there's a 6-8 week processing period. Hopefully I'll have something figured out by then...

I think I'll leave it there for now, but hopefully I'll get back into blogging and be able to share some of my other, more normal kind of thoughts.